From the Head of the Council

To Whom It Should Concern,

Why am I your boss? Well on a purely technical level I was elected by the Guild Council to represent them on the High Council. Now, as there were only a dozen or so people in the meeting, and only two of us stood for two positions, you could say that I’m your boss because I asked for it and none of a handful of people you probably never met objected to it.

Doesn’t seem fair does it? A bunch of poncey spongers rake in your Guild dues all year then declares a few of themselves your lords and masters while they all have it large in a field somewhere you’ve never been. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t be happy with that. If I were in your shoes I might start asking questions like “where’s all that money I paid you last year?” and “how come you’ve suddenly got a silver-plated knife?” I might even decide to come take a look see at your party to find out for myself what’s going on.

But the thing is I’m not in your shoes. Shoes that will probably spend the next forty years warming by the same fire don’t work for me. I need shoes that can be lodged up the backside of any demonic despot who wants a piece of my Guild. I need shoes that can easily be cleaned of the remains of the last necro-nutter with a god-complex who fancied making my people into an army of singing zombies. I need shoes that can stand at the edge of the end of the world, help to push that empty hunger back and still kick their heels at the party afterwards.

A couple of you decided you fancied seeing how the other half lives this month. They showed up at the first Moot looking for a holiday, and seemed a bit put-out when they were met with violence, suspicion and rebuke before being sent packing to get their conkers busted by their boss who told them they shouldn’t meddle in matters that were ‘not their concern.’ I’d just like to amend that reprimand a little – the matters we deal with are everyone’s concern. Obviously they are – we’re all living on the same egg, and when it cracks we all need to worry about it. But from the moment those two girls stepped into the circle and left the Moot, it all stopped being their responsibility. They could have stayed. They got a good look at the mess we deal with and they could have asked to help, but instead they chose to walk away.

Since then, there’s been a lot of natter had about whether we did right by them and how it would look for the Guild, so I just want to make things clear to you all where you stand:

Whoever you are, if you want to come and join us and live it up then do it. All you need to do is pack up your bits, take a circle to wherever we are and join the fun. And write your will, ‘cause chances of you living for another ten years here are pretty slim. And get a relaxed attitude to having friends, ‘cause you will have to bury them on a regular basis. And have a very long hard think about what is most important about this world for you, ‘cause pretty soon you’re going to have to put everything on the line to protect it. Just do all that and we’ll welcome you with open arms.

But if that isn’t for you. If you’re not willing to step up under those terms then you don’t get to join the party; you don’t get to play with the shiny toys, and you don’t get to judge us. The reason I’m your boss is I am willing to take responsibility for my share of this world, and that includes you. We are not here for a holiday – we’re here to save your damn world and if we eat drink and be merry today it’s only because the agenda for tomorrow don’t look too peachy.

That’s the way it is my children, and if you don’t like it, then come here and change it – that power is yours if you’re willing to pay the price. Until then all I want to hear from you is a thank you each morning for the sunrise that we bought for you last night.

I don’t care if you love us or hate us, kids, so long as you let us do our damn jobs.