A Sword that Won't Bend

Oh Queenies, please buy me a sword that won't bend,
My friends all have broadswords, I have to pretend,
I can't fight a battle with a wobbly end,
So Queenies, please buy me a sword that won't bend.

Oh Queenies, please buy me a mace or an axe,
It's hard fighting goblin hordes when they attacks,
I once had some money, but it all went on tax,
So Queenies, please buy me a mace or an axe.

Oh Queenies, please buy me a dagger so wee,
I want to kill werewolves, 'stead of them killing me,
If you make it silver, I'll slay them with glee,
So Queenies, please buy me a dagger so wee.

Oh Queenies, please buy me a weapon of wood,
It's hard fighting Fey, and I am no good
At running away, and I don't think I should,
So Queenies, please buy me a weapon of wood.

Oh Queenies, please buy me a small spiky shield,
I want me a dirk and a claymore to wield,
I'll smite all your foes and they surely will yield,
So Queenies, please buy me a small spiky shield.

Oh Queenies, please buy me a big spiky mace,
I'll batter Arcane and I'll smash in his face,
He'll run like a rabbit, but he'll not outpace... me,
So Queenies, please buy me a big spiky mace.

Oh Queenies, please buy me a 2-handed sword,
I need a big one now I'm a lord,
I'll swing it hard and twat the drow horde,
So Queenies, please buy me a 2-handed sword.

(ooc note - to the tune of Mercedes Benz by Janis Joplin)

 

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