Damsels for Hire
To call yourself a hero is an often empty boast.
It’s hard to get yourself a name without becoming toast.
The dangers young men often face in heroism’s name,
Could easily be avoided if they hired themselves a dame.
Damsels for hire, just ask down at the Bards.
If you want to be a hero, want your friends to think you’re hard.
For kidnapping or rescuing, our maidens are the best,
So come down to the Bards guild when you’re needing to impress.
Kianan’s daughter Lio’s fair of face and well endowed.
She’s sure to be a winner if you’re playing to the crowd.
She’ll marvel at your bravery, admire your skill at arms.
And swoon quite realistically to prove your manly charms.
We’ve got a shepherds daughter here, Helena by name.
She’s been kidnapped so many times, she’s well used to the game.
She’ll crumple down into a heap beneath your mighty sword.
I’m sure that when you bring her back you’ll get your just reward.
If you’d like a kilted lady, Elanor’s your lass.
And since she used to be a queen she brings a bit of class.
Our rescue team will curse you for your villainy and wiles.
Till all that’s let for you to do is practice evil smiles.
So here’s to all young men out there who need a reputation
As a hero or a villain without further obligation.
Just tell us what you’re planning, make a list of all your needs.
We’re bound to have a maiden who’ll be guaranteed to please.
All Works are © Original Author
(OC Author - Bria mcAllister)