I'm A Thief!
I wouldn't like to say what made me break into that place
It wasn't like it was just to see the look upon his face
It wasn't for the gold he kept beneath his kitchen floor
But now I wish I hadn't I won't steal nuffin' any more
Chorus
I'm a thief! At least I used to be!
I got caught! Now I pay the penalty!
I'm a thief! At least I used to be!
And I won't nick nuffin' no more, I wouldn't no, not me!
It was just a small mistake that I'd never made before
I really wish I hadn't put my foot through his front door
I wish that I'd been careful, everything would've been fine
But the noise I made just screwed it up and now I'm doing time
Chorus
It was just a bit of gold - from off the temple altar
If I'd known the gods were real then it might've made me falter
I thought I'd made it out I thought I'd gotten off scot-free
But that lightning bolt from up above made real short work of me…
Chorus
(slow)
Now I'm a thieving sod, I'll be the first one to admit
But I ain't no mugger, no, I hate those little gits
Once I saw one beating on a ven'rable old gent
And cos of him I got the blame but I was innocent!
I was! Don't look at me like that!
Chorus
I've nicked a ring, I've nicked a fing
I've nicked this and that
I've nicked a ship, a trolls fat lip
I even nicked your hat (made ya look!)
I've nicked a dragon, ale filled flagon
Robbed a bard of all his tact
I've nicked a clown, I've nicked a town
I've nicked an artefact
Chorus
I used to be the best, that's what I told em down the pub
I could get you anyfing, be it treasure or a shrub
But I slipped up and no mistake please listen close my friend
Arrogance will get you nowt except a sticky end
All Works are © Original Author
(OC Author - Jez Lawrence)