Let's Go Adventuring Now!
We were sitting in a tavern, having a quiet beer,
When a voice from the corner said "hey! Come over here!"
"I know a nearby dungeon where there's plenty of gold,
"I'd have it done by luncheon if I wasn't so old!"
So we found out the location, and hired ourselves a guide,
And went for a walk 'round the local countryside,
But the woods were all deserted; there was no one there to fight,
And the beer had all run out before the second night - before the second night, so we said:
Chorus:
Hey! Lets go adventuring now!
We can't wait for nightfall for the monsters to come out,
We've gotta find some beer and gold, a magic item too
Maybe rescue some fair maidens: I'm sure we can find something for them to do!
We'll go adventuring now [x2]
Now our archer is an Elf, Gelfin is his name,
His ego's such a problem he's got swelling on the brain,
But his aim is not a mighty as he'd like you to believe,
We watch him practice nightly, but all he hits is leaves!
So we bought him a magic bow, it cost a pretty sum,
We hoped that when he shot at things he might hit the odd one,
But he's the only Elf I know to get a magic bow,
Then look around quite aimlessly for something else to throw - something small to throw!
Hey! Lets go adventuring now!
We can't wait for nightfall for the monsters to come out,
We've gotta find some beer and gold, a magic item too
And find some way to tell the Elf he's sacked that won't leave his ego bruised!
Well there is another member of our mighty fighting team,
He ponces round all in black and calls himself a Thief,
But he's not very good with locks - oh, and he can't climb,
If we don't do something fast, we'll end up doing time!
But we broke into that dungeon, no thanks to him
If he didn't have his Guild Degree I'd swear that he was dim.
There was a warning sign upon the door, a sign that he ignored,
And with a 'twang!' a bowstring sang, and he'd been nailed down to the floor - nailed down to the floor!
We sang:
Hey! Lets go adventuring now!
We can't wait for nightfall for the monsters to come out,
We've gotta find some beer and gold, a magic item too
And find a way to free the Thief from the mess he's gotten into!
We found the pot of gold, no rainbow in sight,
Just the treasure, we were rich (the mood became quite light)!
But just as we were busy patting each other on the back,
The Thief got loose and the bloody fool set off another trap!
Well the roof began to cave in and the walls protruded spikes,
There was only one way out: we started running for our lives,
We ran right 'round the corner and then we stopped up dead:
For there was a mighty Dragon and he didn't look impressed - he didn't look impressed,
He said:
[Condescendingly, and with a yorkshire accent]
"You've been adventuring now,
"You couldn't wait for nightfall for the monsters to come out,
"You thought you'd get some beer and gold, a magic item too,
"But it looks like you've bitten off a bit more than you can chew!"
You're in trouble now
We trembled where we stood as we gazed into those eyes,
They glittered like fire, but they felt as cold as ice,
We thought we'd be incinerated, burnt right into dust,
If we didn't come up with something fast - but we were at a loss!
But then our Wizard said: "Hey! Let's make a deal:
"We'll leave you all the jewels if you don't make us your next meal,
"We'll just take the gold, yes, we'll be going now,
And he mumbled low, said, "let's go", and we teleported out! We teleported out!
And sang:
We've been adventuring now,
But we've only got three hours until the Tavern kicks out,
But we've found some beer and gold, a magic item too,
And we've faced off against a Dragon, there's not much left to do
We'll go adventuring now
Now I am the Bard, that you may have guessed,
And I am here to tell you that my job is the best,
I get to stay at home, I don't have to risk my neck,
And I get paid in beer and gold just for embellishing events!
But sometimes I get the urge to go and see my friends,
And earn my share of the gold they've worked so hard to get,
But if I got accosted by a mighty Dragon Red,
I'd start to yell, then run like hell and hide under the bed - I'd hide under the bed,
I won't say:
Hey! Let's go adventuring now!
I can wait for nightfall for the monsters to come out
You go find the beer and gold, magic items too,
But I'm the Bard, I get the chicks, I've got too much to lose!
We'll go adventuring now,
We'll go adventuring now,
You go adventuring now,
We'll go adven-turing - now
All Works are © Original Author
(OC Author - Jez Lawrence)